He was unsure of the storyline at the end of the video, where I am lying in the road. Initially, in the script, this is the point at which we show the girl has died and the boy lies in the road where she died in a road accident, but Jon could not get the gist of this and was a little uncertain about the real meaning of the final shots. He advised us that we should remove a couple of the transitions as they still seemed to show that a student had been editing here and added a few transitions just for fun.
Otherwise, he said we needed a few more dissolves here and there to ease the cuts between two or more of the shots. He also pointed out that we may need to reconsider the styles and the positioning of titles in the video. The introductory titles may need to be at the very beginning, and possibly some titles at the very end to say our names, i.e. "Director: Chris, Producer: Josh" etc.
Josh Payne:
Next Editing Session
After receiving feedback from our tutor I decided to swap some of the shots around thus differing our narrative slightly. In the original version we first introduced the female character in flashback and then jumped forward to our main protagonist sulking in grief, however we now introduce him first and the girl at around 1 minute. I believe that this allows the audience to understand the storyline more effectively as they can see the despondency of the main character and know that he has lost his 'love.' As well as that I was concerned about our allegro instrumental sections due to the fact that at first we simply had shots of the characters observing ducks in the pond. Therefore I moved the 'duck' shots to take place as part of the scene setting and had the instrumental sections contain Emily running (to demonstrate the upbeat music).
Also I decided that the opening forty seconds felt a touch slow so I experimented with the addition of 'titles' and found that this worked fairly well and the band had also used titles in some of their own pop promos. Most importantly I added the super-8mm film effects by using in built functions on Final Cut Pro including 'bad film' and 'colour balance' to all the shots where the 'girl' was in shot.
